14 years...

Approximately 19 years ago, I was in 7th grade science class with my permed hair, Scotty dog sweater and plaid MC Hammer pants, and was paired up with a tall kid with hair so gelled into spikes, you could have impaled grapes on his head. Spikes so awesome, that if he did a headstand, his skull would be 2 inches off the ground. He kind of looked like 'The Karate Kid', was popular, and I had a major crush on him. This kid was kind of an ass though. He was one of those: "Pssst, what's the answer to number 4?" types. He wanted to light the Bunson Burner and do all the cool shit while I did the calculations. So pathetic was my crush, however, that I happily shared all my homework and answers with him. I also totally fell for it when I gave him a giant Hershey's kiss before Christmas break, and he told me my present was in the mail and would be here soon.

Flash forward 19 years to present day and I'm staring at the 31 year old version of that tall kid laying on our laundry-covered couch watching 'Return of the Jedi.' The kid has the same total amount of hair (just distributed differently), is still kind of an ass, and I still have a major pathetic crush on him. So why is the title of this post 14 years, you ask? Well because Sept 17th, 1994 just happens to be the day I first jumped his bones. I'm classy like that.

We started hanging out during our Junior year of High School. It wasn't really by choice; we had every class together. And then that day in Trig, when I leaned over to put my books into my backpack, and unknowingly gave The Karate Kid a full on nipple shot down my shirt, his crush on me was sealed forever. We were inseparable. Totally platonic, but inseparable nonetheless. It wasn't until nearly a year later, as we started our senior year in high school, that I figured I'd better take matters into my own hands or face another year of sweaty hand holding and nervous hugs goodbye. So, I pounced. I later found out that he had been planning on waiting until Valentine's Day (that's 5 months later, yo) to make his big move. I also made the mistake of painstakingly inscribing every detail into my diary for my mother to find and read. [Apparently, I'm still making that mistake, but we're married now so nana poo poo, Mom. At least this time, I don't have to avoid eye contact with you while you hold up the minty flavored condom you found in my room in college and asked, "What's this?"]

Our wedding anniversary is in May, but today is a commemoration of a different sort. A remembrance of first kisses, butterflies in stomachs, walks in the rain, hand holding, drives in your shitty Honda Prelude, love letters, hours upon hours of talking on the phone, football and soccer, falling crazy in love at age 17 and never regaining sanity.

7 year of marriage and 3 kids later, I'd still flash you my nipple and do it all over again.