Happy Birthday, Connor!

Dear Connor,

Today was your 4th birthday. When I look at you tonight with your chocolate cupcake smeared all over your cute smiling face, I wish Superman would fly around the world fast enough to pause this moment for a while.

When you were a baby, I used to tuck you into your crib with your softest blankie, kiss your face, and sing to you. I loved this so much because you really seemed to appreciate it. You would look up at me with your little baby face and smile a huge toothless grin, and then promptly fall asleep before the sleepy smile had time to fade. Many nights, I stayed a little while longer after you'd fallen asleep just stare at your beautiful baby self.

These days, when it's late at night, I tiptoe over to your bed to give you one last kiss goodnight. Often you will somehow know that I am there without ever opening your eyes. You fling your arms outward and catch me in a hug. And I stay a little while longer after you've fallen back asleep just to try and make sure I'll always remember how it feels to be hugged by your little boy arms.

You are such a comedian. We thought about putting you in Tae Kwon Do a year early, because after watching Sayde for so long, you are tired of waiting. The instructor said that as long as you weren't a goofball, you could start. When I told Aunt Col about this idea, she pointed out to me that your entire personality is a goofball. Oh yeah, that's right. Maybe next year for Tae Kwon Do for you, kiddo.

Sometimes, when you say things like this, I have to remind myself that you did not travel to Earth from some distant planet; touching down from outer space ready to do battle with the Decepticons, while slinging your Spidey webs, sailing your pirate ship, and fighting various T-Rexes crocodiles and sharks with your swords and giant Hulk muscles.

When we moved to this new house and discovered that two little boys just your age lived a couple of houses away, we were thrilled. After 3 years of hanging out with an older sister, you had become accustomed to tea parties and had taken to carrying your matchbox cars around in a pink butterfly purse. When the boys were wrestling and you joined in, you kept looking over at me. I knew you were waiting for me to say, "Settle down, too rough." When that never came, a light came on in your eyes. Somewhere inside your brain, something clicked and the MONSTER TRUCK lurking within was awakened. While I still occasionally witness you tenderly tucking your cars in, and kissing them goodnight, mostly you are King of All Wild Things. Also, everyday I have to wipe the dried pee off the wallpaper in the bathroom. Thank you for teaching me humility.

It may not be obvious to everyone, but you are sensitive. I have learned the hard way not to yell at you. It nearly broke my heart the time I had to put you in naughty room while you were wearing your Spiderman costume. With the Spidey mask on, the only part of your face I could see was two tear filled eyes. All I wanted to do was scoop you into my lap and squeeze you tight. But then you'd learn that the consequence for pushing your sister is a hug from Mommy, so off to naughty room you went (but you were let out early for playing the pity card so well).

Keep on saving the world from bad guys, little dude. I'll keep on kissing you goodnight.

Love always,

Mommy