So a bipartisan congressional task force has just released a report on weapons of mass destruction, and the fabulous news is they say a nuclear or biological attack is more than likely and can expected in the next 5 years. Furthermore, they say our margin of safety is shrinking. They claim their intent is simply to inform the people of the United States, and not to terrify us. Um...thanks?
Watch how fast I'm going to grab my shovel and head into the back yard now to start digging my emergency bomb shelter, you know, in case. And, for Christmas this year, I would like 4 plastic tarps, several rolls of duct tape, 500 cans of beans, a year's supply of water, and a gun with one bullet. Don't worry, I already have plenty of batteries saved up from Y2K.
I'm anxiously awaiting the Department of Homeland Security's response.
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6 comments:
Ugh. These stories always turn me into Britney Spears. I literally slip back into my Louisiana voice and say things like, "Oh mah GAWD!" That's how freaked out I get.
Oh oh. Second! It's way less cooler than first -but I'll take whatever I can get.
So, anyway -about Stupid Haircut Kid. Are you sure you guys weren't "punked" or something because that sounds like a perfect hidden camera moment. Damn crazy!!
If that kid was for real and it sounds like he was then I feel sorry for you guys, of course, but also for that kid. Can you jsut imagein the ass kickings he's going to experience as he grows older. Damn. And it's not even his fault poor thing. His numb-skull mom gets to take all the credit for raising such a messed up kid. So yeah -I'm all with you - some people should not be allowed to contribute to the gene pool!
Umm -sorry I can spell or type. I woke up way too early this morning to exercise. Gotta keep on track with HASAY!
You need your own show.
For realz.
Isn't duct tape magical? Just magical? Santa always brings my husband a few rolls of it in his stocking. No joke. He's sort of a poor man's McGuiver.
Hey! Thanks for stopping by the other day. I've been browsing over here today and I really like it over here. You're too funny. I'm adding you to my blogroll and reader. Damn it. I'm trying to cut back, but I MUST add you.
I hadn't heard that but thanks for freaking me out more than I already am. I'm so paranoid, it ain't even funny, you. Wow, spell check didn't catch ain't so I guess it IS in the dictionary? Hey, do you wanna get adjoining bomb shelters? I can't dig here, there's nothing but sand in FL (see: no basements).
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