This weekend was Lennie's college anniversary, and a bunch of his buddies got together to celebrate and go to the spring football game. Before and after the game in the parking lot, about 20 of us gathered to tailgate in the back of one of his friend's luxury SUV. We had some Bud Light, some carrot and celery sticks for the adults, and a bunch of juice boxes, pretzels and ice pops for the little ones. We put all 6 of the kids in my friends' minivan to watch 'Go Diego Go' while we drank some beer and ate lots of veggies.
We noticed that a couple of parking spaces over, there was a group, just as big in numbers, but with much more beer, no food, no minivan or luxury SUV, and most with no shirts. Ahhh... the difference between college students and alumni.
Later that evening we regrouped and decided to go out to a sports bar for dinner and then nightclub afterwards. I shouldn't really use the word 'decided'. You see, it was more like,
"So, what's the plan?"
"No fucking clue. Why don't we just order another pitcher of Fat Tire and see what happens."
...and then we ended up at a nightclub.
For your reading pleasure, I've compiled a list of evidence of:
How to tell if you're the oldest person at the nightclub
1. Instead of a beer, what you really want is a coffee because it's way past your bedtime.
2. Aren't there any goddamned chairs in this place?
3. Your sundress comes down to mid-calf, not mid-ass cheek.
4. While looking at the stumbling drunken girls, you think, "Geez I hope they get home safe. Was I ever that drunk in college?" By the way, the answer would be, Yes, you were that drunk in college.
5. Instead of a $20 bill and an ID shoved into your jean's pocket, you have a Ginormous Mommy purse still loaded down with various teething rings and matchbox cars and a coloring book from the afternoon.
6. You spend the whole night saying, "If one more person bumps into me, I'm gonna go insane."
7. You don't recognize any of the songs the DJ plays, except for that one that's on the radio all the time.
8. Nobody else seems to notice how incredibly loud the music is.
9. You think, "Why would someone wear a miniskirt, and then go dance in a cage hanging from the ceiling?"
10. When someone suggests going out for food afterwards, all you can think about is pajamas.