Thursday, October 1, 2009

Mommy, Daddy, and the evil MBA

I'm being crushed to death by business school. Wait a damn second, I'm not even in business school. Well then, I must be getting crushed to death in the the black hole left after my husband imploded during his first semester of business school.

Once upon a time, there was a nice little family where the mommy stayed home with the babies and the daddy came home at a reasonable hour after work. In this story, the daddy only had to go away every weekend for 20 games a year and 3 fucking horrible training camp weeks in the summer. The mommy could almost handle it, and the babies were good. Alas, something foul drew nearer.

As summer once again approached, instead of going away for 3 fucking horrible weeks, the daddy stayed home. The mommy was happy, until...the evil time sucking giant, MBA, curled his suffocating fingers around the daddy's neck, threw him into his pressure cooker, and turned up the fire. The daddy was trapped in the pressure cooker and all his time was being sucked away by the evil MBA. The mommy didn't know what to do. How could she get the daddy back? She could hear him mumbling about Statistics and Probability from inside the pressure cooker, but she couldn't reach him to set him free. (Meanwhile, the babies have taken over the home. And in order to fill the void left by the absence of their daddy, they have begun smacking each other to pass the time.)

The mommy had almost given up when she heard the daddy shout from inside the pressure cooker, "It's only for 6 months! After the first two quarters, it gets much easier!" The mommy was filled with a renewed sense of hope, until she realized that the daddy was muttering to himself about Statistics again and seemed to be banging his head on the inside of the pressure cooker's wall.

For now, all the mommy can do is to use her lightest child as a shield against the other two, and hope that the daddy can find some way out of the pressure cooker soon.

Is the daddy's goose cooked?
Will the mommy be crushed by the parental void?
Will the babies take over in "Lord of the Flies" fashion for good?

Stay tuned...I'm sure I'll have time to tell you the end of the story in another ohh...6 months or so.

6 comments:

Melissa said...

Before you know it, this will all be just a horrible memory. In the interim - bring a couple of those kids over here. I'll distract them!

Mike C said...

Great post Katie! Classic and the reason I keep coming back for more. Dont stop.

Susan said...

I'm laughing hysterically. Love checking in, as usual! Hang in there!

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Mike C said...

Guess you did indeed stop :( Come back Katie!!